When the fast food nation and open road collide
By Andrea Rizzo
In the last edition of CareersinGear.com Magazine, we explored CB slang with a certain slant toward animal characteristics and naming conventions. Given all of the time that truckers spend on the road, it only makes sense that food is often on the brain. Perhaps that is why so many of the CB slang terms are a nod toward food, some savory and some tongue-in-cheek. We’ve rounded up a fresh batch of CB slang that is food-centric in every way. Warning, the following list is enough to make you hungry-or lose your lunch.
When hunger strikes. We all need to eat, and truckers are famous patrons of roadside diners and truck stops. We’ve all heard the term "greasy spoon," a perfect description of Mel’s Diner from the hit 70s television show, "Alice." (And who could ever forget Flo and her saucy expression, "kiss my grits!" More food speak there.) Truckers also refer to a restaurant on the road as "chew-n-choke" or "eat ‘em up," two monikers I hope to never see on or within an eating establishment.
Condiments and other basic staples. Both "lettuce" and "bread" are not only staples in our diets, but are also CB slang for money. A flat tire in any season can be called a "pumpkin," while the "sandwich lane" is not referring to those in line for a sub sandwich, but rather drivers in the middle lane, sandwiched between the fast and slow lanes.
Just say cheese. Somewhere along the way, truckers began equating school buses with "cheese wagon." This may be due to the goofy looks children give to drivers as they’re passing by, or are unfortunately stuck behind, a school bus full of wound up kids. Likewise, the term "half cheese" refers to the shorter school buses. "Swiss cheese wagon" describes private school buses or church shuttles that are generally painted white.
Wash it down. In order to help stay awake on the road, truckers may opt for a "cup of mud" for that caffeine fix, also known as "hot stuff" or "hundred mile coffee" if it’s really strong. Speaking of beans, "cold coffee" refers to beer, as does "Colorado Kool-Aid," "brown bottle" or simply, "brew." Let’s hope the non-coffee variety is enjoyed responsibly after a shift.
Time for dessert. It seems like "candy man" would refer to an ice cream truck or similar sweets-carrying vessel, but it’s actually sarcasm for the Federal Communications Commission, or FCC. The FCC has long ruled the CB airways, for better or worse, creating standards and fining non-followers. The term "doughnut" doesn’t refer to the glazed variety, but instead a truck tire or upcoming roundabout in the road. Roadside reflectors are also known as "lollipops."
When it rains, it pours. Weather and driving conditions play a big role in a truck driver’s work day, and the CB is a great device for alerting other drivers about potentially dangerous conditions. Hence, the term "popcorn" is not found at the movies, but rather what comes down during a hailstorm. The official salt trucks that make the roads safe for truckers and other drivers are known as "salt shakers."
It’s easy for truckers and other CB talkers to get a well-balanced diet of slang throughout the airways. The CB radio has long been a reliable outlet for news, weather reports and hazardous road condition announcements, from one concerned trucker to the next. And nobody can deny the CB’s ability to keep drivers awake and entertained during long hauls across the U.S.
Until the next time, enjoy the CB airways and “truck ‘em easy!” That’s CB speak for drive safely.
